


the beginning

by multipliiehearts



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-01-31 18:23:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18596899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multipliiehearts/pseuds/multipliiehearts
Summary: After an event leaves everyone thinking Selina Kyle is dead, she starts questioning the opportunity to start her life over. Meanwhile Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after 10 years, met with news that leaves him devastated.





	1. a new start

Selina Kyle is dead, or at least that what everyone thinks. Oh well, everyone in Gotham anyway.

They think Ivy killed her in cold blood. Selina can’t blame them; she had been found dead and Ivy had been spotted running away from the scene. The GCPD aren’t as stupid anymore, they know a murder scene when they see one. But what actually happened was quite different: Ivy had found her, close to death, and had used some kind of portion to heal her. The portion worked, it began to heal her, but it also lowered her pulse enough to make it undetectable. So, when the cops found her, she was declared dead. 

Ivy had of course been aware that it would happen, or at least the possibility of it happening, but the cops surprised her, and she ended up having to leave the scene. Ivy had later charmed some guys, to sneak into the morgue and steal the body, making it seem like a random act of crime: someone trying to get money of selling body parts on the black market. And since she just was a homeless, no one bothered to do much but fill a report.

See, faking her death had been much easier than she even thought. Faked her death. She likes to think of it like that, it makes her feel like she has control. But to be honest, she freaked out when she was first found out about everyone thinking she was dead. She had been mad at Ivy for making important decisions for her. She snuck out one night, wandered around the streets of Gotham, hiding in the darkness. Her feet had brought her to the graveyard where she looked for something: a grave with her name, something that acknowledge her existence, proof that anyone cared enough about her to bury her. But nothing.

She returned to an angry Ivy, with her heart aching. Once again remined of how littler her life matters. To Gotham, to its people and the ones who left. The tears had been running down her cheeks as she pushed past Ivy into the bathroom and looked the door behind her. She held onto the sink, her whole-body racking with choked sobs. Covering her mouth with her hands, as she desperately tried to muffle to sobs. She sunk onto the floor, leaned her back against the cool wall.

This reminder changed her mindset, she started getting accustomed to the idea of becoming someone new, letting Selina Kyle die. She even started to like it; maybe it would be her chance to start new, she would no longer be Selina Kyle. She wouldn’t be burdened by old mistakes or by the hurt of being left behind. Maybe this would be her chance to let the past and all the hurt in it, die with the name.

Maybe Selina Kyle wasn’t supposed to make it this time. 

It’s not like anyone would miss her anyway.


	2. bearer of bad news

Bruce’s steps echoes through the night, his cape flying behind him as he leaps over the edge of the building. Coming to a stop on the opposite building and walking over to the edge, gazing over the city. The many sounds of the city echoes between the city walls, proving that Gotham never sleeps. When the dark falls, criminals roam the streets of the city. They have always done, but its different now. He is with them on the streets now, protecting they city from them.

Being gone ten years had changed him, the hectic city he grew up in becoming something he has to get reused to. He knows that things have changed while he was gone, both the city and its people. But he can’t help but hope that somethings will be the same, that he can correct the mistakes he did all those years ago. If only she would let him…

A scream suddenly echoes through the night, interrupting his train of thoughts. He grimaces and looks over the edge, into the alleyway. There is a woman standing with her hands raised, two men standing in front of her. One of them has a gun raised towards her while the second has his hands reached out towards her, demanding her to give him the purse she is clutching to her chest.

Bruce leaps of the edge of the building, gracefully landing onto the fire stairs. Before quickly jumping onto his feet and throwing himself over the railing, knocking on of them down by landing on top of him. He yells in surprise, but the sound is cut short as Bruce kicks him in the face, knocking him out. The other one swears before turning his gun towards Bruce, but Bruce manages to grab onto the gun. Pointing in a different direction, making the bullet imbed into the wall behind him. Bruce throws a punch towards the guy’s face, knocking him out.

Bruce turns around but the woman was gone, probably scared of by her savior.

He is just about to step backward and disappear into the shadows when something on the ground catching his attention, it’s a newspaper. He kneels down and picks it up, almost dropping it as he reads the headline.

**Gotham’s Catwoman vanishes. Has she run out of lives?**

He freezes, his heart suddenly heavy in his chest. Bruce crumples the newspaper into his hand, quickly climbing onto the roof again. He runs and leaps over the roofs, desperate go get answers.

-

He pushes the door to the manor open; alarms start to bleep but he ignores them. He takes off his helmet, a few curly strands of hair falling over his eyes and he quickly brushes it away, letting out a deep sigh. Bruce barley has the time to raise his hand, catching his butler’s cane just a few inches away from his face.

“Ohh, Master B. You gave me a fright! I’m so sorry.” Alfred rambles, lowering the cane. His eyebrows creasing in concern when he notices the pale expression on the younger man’s face.

“Is something wrong?” he asks, voice filled with worry.

“Who is she?” Bruce asks shortly.

“What, who are you talking about?” Alfred asks, voice filled with confusion.

Bruce roughly pushes the newspaper into Alfred’s chest. The older man’s face falls when he reads the headline. But he doesn’t look surprised, just sad. He opens his mouth about to say something but then just closes it again, unsure of what to say.

“Don’t tell me it is who I think it is.” he says, is voice pleading.

“Bruce…” the butlers faltering answer is enough to make Bruce heart drop, he roughly pushes his hands though his hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me? This is months old!” he demands, his voice filled with rage.

“Bruce…”

“I- I have to find her…” he rambles, trying to think straight.

“No... Bruce it’s not…”

“Alfred, you don’t get it! I have to make sure she is alright!”

“Bruce you don’t get it...” the butler’s exasperated tone fills Bruce with bitterness.

“Don’t get what, Alfred!?” he asks, laughing humorlessly. If anything, it’s Alfred who doesn’t understand, he has never understood their relationship. Always tried to keep Bruce away from her, why would this be any different?

“She is dead.” the butler manages to get out, his voice barley above a whisper.

The words painfully echo in his skull and he freezes, a painful emptiness settling in his heart. She can’t be, right? He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. It’s like someone has poured ice cold water over his head, every cell in his body tensing.

“W-what. Nonono, she isn’t.” Bruce whispers, shaking his head frantically. He almost stumbles as his legs suddenly turn into jelly beneath him. He has to grab onto the desk to hold himself upright.

“Bruce…” Alfred starts, a look of worry etched onto his face.

“No, you don’t get it. She isn’t…. She can’t be.” Bruce cuts him off and as he says it, he gets more certain that he is right. He has to be right; he isn’t sure what he would do otherwise.

But he can’t help but wonder: What if it’s true? What if she actually is dead? The doubt starts to sear into his mind, making his eyes sting with tears. Leaving her had been painful, but this: losing her to something as final as death… was something else. The pain surged with every expelled breath, always reaching higher peaks, his breathing becomes irregular and his eyes stings with tears.

“No, she can’t. I... - I left so that she would be safe.”

Alfred takes a step towards him, but Bruce quickly steps away, almost stumbling over his feet in his hurry of getting away. He can’t handle it: the look of pity, Alfred trying to comfort him. He frankly doesn’t deserve it.

“I... I have to go.” he quietly says, his voice breaking, before storming past Alfred. The world seemingly crumbling around him. Alfred tries to grab onto him, but he easily slips out of his grip.

He comes to a stop in the doorway, his back towards the butler and silent tears streaming down his face. He opens his mouth, but quickly closes it again. Scared of whatever noise that would come out of he tried to talk. He pushes the door open, entering the cold night and dries the tears that escaped his eyes away with his sleeve. He takes a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut: Pushing all the hurt away, not ready to deal with it yet.

He pulls his mask on, entering the dark night.

-

Hours seems to pass in mere minutes as he runs though the city, once again leaping between buildings. His feet ponding against the concrete roof beneath, the city lights moving beneath his feet has he jumps over the ledge. Crouching as studies he alleyway below, he had been looking into some guys suspected for hitting their children and other terrible crimes surrounding children, it had been an obvious crime, but they had been let to go due to lack of evidence. They had been walking free on the streets of Gotham for months, but soon justice is about to be brought upon them.

Bruce jumps of the ledge, crouching as he lands on the ground beneath. The two criminals shout in terror, knowing what was bound to happen.

Bruce quickly jumps onto his feet, dodging as one of the guys lunges for him. Instead managing to strike the guy with his fist across the head with his fist, making him stumble backwards and spit blood onto the ground. Bruce dives for him, his fist colliding with the guy’s face again. Making him fall to the ground and Bruce kicks him in the face, knocking him out.

The other one lunges for him and he dodges, but the knife manages to slash him across his chest. But Bruce barley feels it, he barley feels anything. Instead he just thrust his fist towards the guy, striking him across the head and knocking him out. A sudden anger surging through him, people like them was alive while she wasn’t. While good people weren’t. His fist collides with the criminal’s face again. And again. Blood seems to be stream out of the guys nose, but Bruce doesn’t care. His fits continue pounding the guy´s face, painting Bruce’s gloves red with blood.

“Stop! Aren’t you supposed to be the good guy? Supposed to not kill?” the other guy shouts, leaning against the wall and drying blood from underneath his nose. Bruce stops, his heart beating hard in his chest, terrified of himself. He slowly steps away.

“Ever put a hand on a child again and I will finish this.” he growls, almost scared of the truth in his words.

He climbs onto the roof, leaving the guys on the ground as he hears the sirens getting closer. When he is a safe distance away, he quickly bandages himself. But he can barley feel it, maybe that’s why he is so surprised when he notices the amount of blood is soaked into the suit around the wound. He won’t be able to hide this from Alfred easily, but he almost feels obligated to. Not in the mood of hearing Alfred tell him that he knows better than being so reckless.

He lets out a heavy sight before walking to edge of the building, looking down at the city below. A hollow numbness filling his chest. It scares him a little, the numbness. It makes him dangerous, but he also knows that if he lets himself feel, let himself mourn he would be more dangerous. He knows that they deserved it, but he should be better: Not let anger control him..

A sudden noise catches his attention, making him crouch down on the ledge. His eyes scanning the alleyway beneath him, but he doesn’t see anything. He is just about to leave when he sees something move in the corner of his eye: It looks like someone is moving inside on of the closed stores. He quietly descends onto the ground below, gracefully sticking the landing. Reading the name of the store: Lily’s magical potions store.

Bruce scrunches his eyebrows together in confusion; this city just keeps getting weirder and weirder. He sneaks closer, quickly studying the store for signs of forced entry. The door to the store is slightly open, he looks through the store’s window.

But the store is dark, and he can only see the silhouette of a woman.

“Okay Ives, I’m in. What now?” the woman asks, making Bruce freeze. He recognizes that voice, but it can’t be, right?

The woman seems to get answer as she starts searching the shelves, reading the labels of all the potions. Picking some of them up and carefully placing them in a pouch at her hip.

“I’ve got them. Is there anything else you need?”

Bruce feels as if someone has punched him in the stomach. Selina? He hides behind the door, unable to think straight. He knows that he should stop her, whoever it is and bring her to justice. But he can’t fight the hope burning in his chest.

When he looks through the window again, she is gone.

“What the...” was he imagining things?

“Why are you spying on me?” Bruce freezes, not daring to turn around. Scared that moving would ruin this, whatever it is.

“Selina?” he breaths out, unable to stop himself. His voice sounds tense like an elastic that’s about to snap.

But when he finally dares to turns around, no one is there. The only proof that anyone even was there the slightly open door. He knows that he should be worried about her being able to sneak upon him, but he really doesn’t care at the moment. He feels as if someone has run him over with a train.

He just called a random thief Selina, is he going crazy?

Breathing becomes harder, and an unsettling feeling of being watches rushes over him.

He needs to get away from here.

He aimlessly rushes through the streets and alleyways of Gotham, suddenly finding himself in front of the building where he and Selina had stayed during his time on the streets. Somehow it had been spared from the destruction Bane brought to the Narrows. He quickly climbs up the fire escape, entering the apartment through the window.

And for a moment he can’t help but hop that she will be there, sitting on the counter or curled up in the sofa.

But she isn’t there, of course she isn’t. The hope that had filled him was ripped away, leaving a gaping hole. He squeezes his eyes shut, once again trying to push all the hurt away. But this time it doesn’t work, the feelings overtakes him as the realization seems to finally hit. Making his knees buckle, knees falling onto the cold, wooden floor.

She is dead.  
He will never see her face again.

He hadn’t even said goodbye to her face. Their last interaction had been a letter. He didn’t get the chance to tell her he loved her. Didn’t get to hold her close as she died. He wasn’t even on her funeral…. He had lost years he could have spent with her. He had left to protect people he loved but she still…

The realizations are what finally breaks him: The sobs coms in waves, threatening to consume him entirely. His whole body seemingly heaving with the heavy sobs, that leaves him gasping for air.


	3. let's pretend were are fine (part 1)

Selina slams the door shut, leaning against it for support. She tries to breathe as quiet as possible but every breath she takes seems to come out in gasps, and she doesn’t know if it’s from adrenaline or shock. Maybe a mixture of both.

\----

_It had been a small burglary, an easy one. She had with ease been able to get into the building and were just about to leave when she had noticed the figure in the doorway._

_“Why are you spying?” she had asked before she could stop herself, curiosity getting the better of her._

_“Selina?” the man breathed, and she froze. She had recognized that voice._

_It was Bruce. Oh shit. She could hear the fight in his voice, she was supposed to be dead after all._

_It was like time had frozen, leaving them standing in the dark night. His back turned towards her and her breath caught in her throat.She had seen his back tensing, his whole body seemingly in denial. Selina suddenly regain the ability to move, but for a moment... she doesn't. It might be stupid, but she had wanted him to see her. Wanted him to question if she was dead or not, wanted him to hurt. But she had been scared and instead turned away, quietly let herself disappear the night like a ghost, or a cat._

_She left him behind, broken. Much like he left her behind all those years ago._

\----

She closes her eyes, breathing deeply. 

So, he is back in Gotham. Selina thinks and almost lets out a humorless laugh. Of course, he finally has something worth returning for. Wayne Tower is supposed to open soon, and not even Bruce Wayne can miss the opening of his own building. She rolls her eyes, he has been gone for ten years and is only now returning, for a fucking building? Why is she even surprised anymore?

She takes a deep, shaky breath. Her heart is beating hard in her chest. Her eyes well up with tears and she frantically blink, desperately trying to keep them at bay. But the tears seep through her eyelashes, rolling down her cheeks and leaving streaks across her face.A quiet sob escapes her mouth, making her grasp onto her own face. Desperately trying to muffle the sobs.

Shit, she didn’t except it to hurt this much. It’s been ten fucking years after all. She had tried to be mad at him, to let the anger build walls around her. He didn’t deserve anything but her anger. However, when she had heard how hurt he sounded… her heart broke. The anger that she had been holding onto for years, disappearing.And she can’t help but wonder, if she hadn’t faked her death: would he try to search her up? If she let them, would they maybe have a chance at happiness? Probably not, they are them after all. A happy ending has never been an option for them, not for both of them at least: He had chosen to slam the door on their happy ending when he left. She might have been the one to lock it, but he pushed her to do it. She couldn’t bear it, see the closed door taunt her. Give her false hope that one that it would be opened, so she locked in and threw the key away.

Him leaving hurt her, it was like her mom leaving all over again. But this time, it was this person that she had let herself trust. Cause she thought she knew him better; thought he would never leave the city, leaver her.The anger and bitterness she had lacked earlier is now burning inside of her, making her slam her fist into the wall and yelling in frustration. Tears of anger and frustration is running down her face: Fuck, she hates how much power he still has over her. She wasn’t supposed to care about him anymore. Not supposed to want him anymore.

But here she is, once again thinking about all the “what if’s”. She almost laughs at how pathetic she is.

She takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. There is no use be angry at him, when he isn’t even here.Only now that the anger is reducing, she can feel the pain in her wrist. She looks down at her hand, spreading her fingers apart and sighing deeply: Her wrist is already becoming swollen and purplish marks is spreading across her slender hand, her knuckles scratched up. She sighs again before walking into the bathroom, wrapping a bandage around her hand and wrist.

The sound of footsteps approaching makes her quickly dry her eyes with the back of her hand, probably leaving red streaks across her face. She turns around and look at Ivy who is now standing in the doorway. Selina quickly turns around, trying to hide the injured hand behind her.

“Cat?” Ivy asks, a look of concern on her face.

“Here..” Selina ignores her and throws the pouch to Ivy, who catches it “- I hope it’s enough” she continues when Ivy opens the pouch and peaks inside.

“Yeah, we should be good. Thank you!”

“No problem.” she says, smiling towards the older woman. Or was she younger? The smile must have been off because Ivy’s eyebrows scrunch together in concern.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah...” she laughs, trying to sound unbothered. “- why wouldn’t I be?”

“Okay….” Ivy doesn’t sound convinced and when she turns around to leave, she looks over her shoulder and continues “- I’m going to pretend like you have me fooled, but we are going to talk about this later.” Selina opens her mouth to protest but quickly closes it again, there is no use trying to argue against Ivy.

“I’m making pancakes, do you want some?” Ivy asks, maybe to distract her. But she doesn’t care, instead smiling and following Ivy to the small kitchen of the apartment. She knows she needs the distraction.

“Yeah, duh” Selina laughs, jumping onto the counter. If Ivy sees her bandaged wrist, she doesn’t say anything, and Selina is thankful for it.

“Sooo, you and Ecco huh?” Selina asks, aching her brow and smirking teasingly. Her question makes Ivy choke on air and blush, throwing the spatula towards her. Selina easily dodges it, laughter bubbling up in her chest.

“Shut up! Do you want pancakes or not?” Ivy says, voice trying to sound threatening, but Selina can see the laugh in her eyes.

“Don’t drag my pancakes into this” Selina says, trying to sound serious. But when Ivy’s look of seriousness falls and she starts laughing, so does Selina.

And maybe she and Bruce could have had a chance to happiness if she hadn’t faked her death but right now, this was enough.

At least that what she keeps telling herself.


	4. Let's pretend were are fine (part 2)

Alfred paces the Manor, his whole body filled with concern: Bruce still hasn’t returned, and he has turned of his com. He can’t help but feel guilty, he should have told about Selina months ago. But he had been unsure of how to break the news, he maybe had hoped that his master’s feelings towards the thief would have changed during the years he was away. He had been foolish.

Feelings like that doesn’t just changed, if that was the case they probably would have been gone long ago. 

Alfred is worried about Bruce not coming back for the night, but he is even more scared about him returning; about Bruce asking questions he can’t answer. Won’t answer. Telling him what happened won’t help him, it would only bring him suffering.

A sudden noise from the study makes Alfred tense up, he knows what’s to come.

Bruce steps out of the shadows, his head bent down and his dark hair covering his eyes.

“Master B, you had me worried!” But Bruce just ignores him. He sits down on the leather couch, burying his face in his hands. Alfred walks over to him, gently placing a comforting hand on the younger man’s shoulder. Only now Bruce looks up at him, his red and tears streaked face making Alfred want to wrap his arms around the young man.

“I’m alright…” he says, shaking Alfred’s hand of his shoulder. “or I will be, when you tell me what happened to her.” 

His words make Alfred’s eyebrows scrunch together in concern; the younger man was obviously not fine. Not at all. But he knew this moment would come. He had dreaded it since the day he found out.

“Master Bruce, I’m not sure if this is a good idea…” he says, voice wavering. Bruce’s shoulder tenses underneath his fingers, sensing that something was off.

“What happened to her?” Bruce suddenly jumps onto his feet, a mix of tears and anger gleaming in his eyes.

“Bruce…” 

“Tell me! It’s an order.” Alfred sighs, ignoring the younger man and wrapping his arms around him. Bruce struggles against his grip at first but then seems to melt into his father-figures embrace, his body beginning to shake in silent sobs. The sobs seem to come from deep within, the sound tearing at Alfred’s heartstrings. He is remined of the night Bruce’s parents were killed. He remembers how he had embraced the young boy in a manner, not so different from this.

“I need to know. Please.” Bruce says, his voice muffled against Alfred’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I can’t tell you.” 

Bruce tenses up in Alfred’s embrace, his whole body becoming stiff and his arms falling to his side. He then proceeds to push Alfred away from him, silent tears still streaming down his face. But anger now gleaming in his eyes together with the tears.

“Can’t or won´t?!” Bruce’s voice echoes through the study, making Alfred flinch. 

“Okay but Bruce, what are you going to do about it, huh!? She is dead! Finding out what happened to her won’t change anything!” the second those words leaves his mouth; he regrets saying them. The look of hurt and coldness on his master’s face is proof enough that he crossed a line. 

Bruce walks past him, not looking at him as he does. Alfred follows him into the bedroom, where Bruce open’s the closet doors. Rummaging through it and tossing a pair of black jeans and a shirt onto his bed, his back towards Alfred.

Bruce is the one to break the cold silence laying above them.

“I know it won’t change anything- God, I wish it did, but it won’t. I just need to know” 

“I can’t tell you, not now…” Bruce takes his suit, and Alfred sees the bloody bandaged on his shoulder. “-are you hurt?! Why didn’t you tell me?!” he yells as he tries to inspect his master’s poorly bandaged shoulder, but Bruce just pushes him away

“I’m fine... It’s nothing…” he answers, his voice sounding monotone. He quickly pulls the black shirt over his head, covering the bandages from his butlers’ lurking eyes. Before turning towards the butler, his eyes pleading “-just… tell me, please” he begs, voice almost cracking as he does.

“I´m sorry Bruce…” his voice wavers as he speaks, and Bruce’s eyes darkens. He brushes past Alfred, their shoulders bumping into each other. He walks into the study, picking up one of the car key laying on the desk. Before heading towards the door.

“Where are you going? You have to get stitched up!”

Bruce turns towards Alfred, his eyes dark.

“I’m going to get answers Alfred and since you can’t give them to me, being here is a waste of my time. “he says, voice cold as he turns around and opens the door, the cold night air entering the Manor.

“Someone killed her, okay!” the words leave Alfred mouth before he has a chance to stop them. Bruce whole body seems to freeze up, his hand still resting on the doorknob.


	5. tear in my heart

“I wish I could tell you she had a good life, a good death. But that would be a lie, her life got more dangerous as she got deeper into the criminal life. She pissed of the wrong people, I tried to warn her, but she wouldn’t listen! I told her that one day she would get herself killed...” Alfred continues rambling, his words echoing through Bruce’s skull.

She was killed

She was killed

“Shut up! Please just…” Bruce interrupts Alfred, shrugging the older man’s hand of his shoulder and taking a few steps away from him. The color draining from his face as he does. Every word that left Alfred’s mouth made it feel like every cell in his body was electrocuted. He closes his eyes for a moment, desperately trying to keep his feelings controlled. 

This hurt way more than he thought it would. Knowing this was almost too much. He had always hoped that she would have a nice life after he left. He had imagined how they would meet again: maybe would the nod to each other as they cross the street, she maybe had a husband and children. Or maybe he would meet her at some fancy gala, stealing from the other guest. But he had never thought, not even in his worst nightmares he saw this; him returning to the news of her being dead.

“What happened?” he asks, voice rough and low.

“Are you sure you want to know? It’s not pretty Bruce.” Alfred asks, his eyes filled with concern. Probably noticing the pale look on his face, Bruce nods trying to send Alfred a reassuring smile, but it probably just looks like a grimace. 

“Yes, tell me. Please, I need to know… who killed her?”

“Bruce… I need you to promise me something” Bruce freezes for a moment, knowing what’s about to come. 

“What?”

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid” 

Even though he was prepared for it, he almost flinched at his words. And frankly, he doesn’t know if he will be able to keep this promise. But that doesn’t stop the words from leaving his mouth:

“I promise” 

Alfred looks like he wants Bruce to repeat the words but seems to decide against it was he turns around. Sighing deeply before starting to walk down the hallway, entering the study and sitting down on one of the brown leather couches placed in the room. He gestures for Bruce to sit down beside him, and Bruce quickly does.

“They aren’t sure…. but they have reasons to believe that the plant girl did it.” 

“The plant girl, who…. Ivy?” Bruce asks, confusion filling his voice.

“Yeah. The found Selina with an unknown substance running though her veins and Ivy was spotted running away from the scene.” 

“But they are friends…” he says, voice quiet. He knows that friends really aren’t the right word, but he also knows that Selina cares about the girl. Anger starts coursing through his veins; she was killed by a friend, someone she trusts.

He jumps onto his feet, his fist clenched at his sides.

“I need to speak with her.” he says as he starts heading towards his room again. Maybe it’s time for Ivy to meet a certain vigilante. If she was responsible for Selina’s death, justice would be served.

But Alfred quickly seems to understand what he is thinking.

“You promised you wouldn’t do anything!”

Bruce smiles coldly, not saying anything. But when Alfred gestures for him to sit again he hesitantly does.

“There is no use giving her to the cops. They would just be forced to release her again.”

“Again?!”

“The whole… situation was pretty messy.”

Bruce feels as if someone poured ice cold water over his head, his every cell tensing. He takes a deep breath, trying to keep his breathing calm and steady. But it feels like someone is sitting on his chest, making unable to breath properly.

“What situation? What do you mean?” he growls, making Alfred look uncomfortable.

 

“There was a sudden lack of evidence.” his words make shivers go down Bruce back, sensing that he won’t like what Alfred was about to say. But he had insisted on getting the truth and now he is getting it. He needs it, needs to know everything. Even the things he might be better off not knowing.

“What do you mean, `sudden lack of evidence’? What happened?” he asks, the dread already filling his body.

Alfred doesn’t say anything and avoids looking Bruce in the eyes. But his actions only make the ache in Bruce’s chest to worsen.

“They don’t know, the police aren’t proud of it. They try to keep the whole thing under wraps.”

“What? Try to keep what under wraps?” Bruce asks, voice threatening. 

A look of discomfort crosses Alfred face, and Bruce can feel the color drain from his face once again.

“What. Are. You. Talking. About. What. Situation?” he asks, voice dangerously low.

“Bruce, you have to know. The police aren’t proud about it…”

“About what?!” Bruce interrupts him, jumping onto his feet.

“Her…the body” Alfred starts, avoiding looking at Bruce as he does “it was stolen from the GCPD.” 

Bruce knees suddenly buckle underneath him, and he heavily sits down on the couch again.

“What?” his voice is quiet when he speaks. It feels like he suddenly is slammed under water, his surroundings becoming blurry and his breathing uneven. 

“They think the thief snuck in and stole the body… to sell on the black market.” Alfred continues seemingly not noticing the pale look on his master’s face. Bruce clenches his fists, feeling as if he is about to throw up. 

It was stolen

The body

Her body

Bruce buries his head in his hands, feeling overwhelmed. Images of her body, deeps cut covering it flashing in front of his eyes. 

“I- I have to do something” he says, looking at the older man. His eyes filling with tears and an awful hollow feeling spreading in his chest.

“Bruce, I know you cared about the girl. We all did, but...” Alfred’s voice is suddenly stern, as if he is scolding a bad behaving child. 

“It’s different” Bruce interrupts, his voice breaking. The anger that had been surging though him, gone. 

“You left Bruce.” Alfred’s voice doesn’t even sound accusing, just sad. Bruce wished that it sounded accusingly, anything but this sadness.

“It’s just that… I hoped that I could fix it: correct the mistakes I did all those years ago…” 

“Bruce...”

“I didn’t even get to tell her!” a look of realization dawn onto Alfred’s face at his words. 

Alfred takes a step towards him, a look of comfort and pity on his face. He stumbles backwards, the pity too much for him to handle.

“Don’t. I don’t deserve it.”

“Oh god, I wasn’t even at the funeral...” he doesn’t notice how Alfred flinches at his words, instead frantically pulling at his hair. “- they buried and empty casket. I have to go...”

Alfred sighs deeply, the sound catching the attention of the younger man.

“Don’t bother.”

Bruce freezes, dread once again soaking into his cells.

“What do you mean?”

“You won’t find her at the graveyard. They didn’t bury as empty casket, because she didn’t have a funeral.” 

“What?”

“As I said, the whole situation was pretty messy. We didn’t even find out she was dead for weeks. The police wanted to keep it secret. More important people died, people didn’t really care about a thief.” Alfred says, his voice wavering as he speaks.

Bruce once again feels as if he is going to throw up. More important people. He turns away from Alfred, not wanting him to see the silent tears streaming down his face. 

She was important

To him.

Maybe that's why it hurt so much, this. Losing her to something as permanent as death itself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like I'm just saying that upcoming chapters might include a jealous Bruce ;)) 
> 
> Also, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	6. money, money,money

Selina is pacing the apartment; Ivy should have been back an hour ago. She is just about to grab her jacket and head out to look for her friend when the door slams open. 

“Where the fuck have you been! I have been….” Ivy stumbles into the room, her cheeks stained with mascara. Selina falters, suddenly unsure of what to do. “Ivy, what happened?” she asks, grabbing onto her friend and leading her to the couch.

“Selina. I’m so sorry... I- I have put us both in danger.” Ivy sobs, more tears streaming down her face. Selina feels the blood freeze, the hairs on her arms and neck standing up.

“What are you talking about?” she asks, struggling to sound calm.

“I tried to steal, tried to remember what you taught me. But I wasn’t good enough and they caught me. They let me go, but they want money….

Selina jumps onto her feet, engrossed in thought.

“We don’t have to give them anything, we just… lay low for a while.

“Selina, you don’t understand… They know things, about your death. Things that will make me guilty.” a wave of nausea washing over her, almost numbing the world around her. All possibilities running through her mind. A small part of her wanting to turn her back on Ivy, take care of herself. But she can’t. It’s been the two of them a long time now and she isn’t sure she will be able to be alone again. 

The silence lowers over them for a moment, Selina paces the small apartment.

“How much...?” she asks, fearing the answer. 

“50,000 dollars and they want it at the end of this week.” Ivy sobs, tears running down her reddening cheeks 

It’s Wednesday today. Selina swears and roams her hands through her hair. The gears in her brain working hard. Where would they be able to get so much money on such a short notice. The headline on a newspaper laying nearby catches her eyes, and she slowly walks towards it. Stopping dead in her tracks when she reads it, shivers following the curve of her spine.

WAYNE MANOR OPENING

The black letters scream against the white background of the newspaper. The statement seems to taunt her, tempting her to got to place which she can’t. It would be a great opportunity to steal, to get money. She knows, she has done it before.  
Maybe it’ll be the same, maybe it’ll work. 

No, she can’t go there. She isn’t ready, it’s too dangerous.

What if he recognizes her?

A bitter laugh leaves her lips, let’s be real. He probably forgot about her years ago. And even if he hasn’t, he will just have to live with it. She won’t give him any answers. He lost the right to give a fuck when he left, lost the right to try to change her. Not that he ever had to too begin with.

She knows she doesn’t have a choice; the event is bound to be big. Which would be a perfect opportunity to get money.

She squeezes her eyes shut and turns towards Ivy, the newspaper getting scrunched together in her closed fist.

“I know where to get the money. But you won’t like it.” she says and throws the newspaper in front of Ivy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again, I know its been awhile..... but here is the new chapter and yes its short but I hope you like it


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